CHEATING IN RELATIONSHIPS - W H Y ?

It is often quite some time before a person will pick up on the signs of cheating by their spouse - if in fact at all. The signs are almost always there no matter how careful a cheating spouse may try to cover up. Opportunities for extramarital affairs will present themselves on occasions but if a marital relationship is strong these opportunities will not be taken advantage of. It stands to reason that in those cases where a married person does have an affair then there is something missing, or perceived to be missing, in their married relationship that has triggered their sexual involvement with a third party. There are many signs of cheating, some obvious, some not so. Outlined below are six of the major reasons for a spouse turning to another person for sexual intimacy: 1. Protest There are many people who consider that they are within their rights to have an affair particularly if there is no intimacy at home because they and their spouse are continually arguing over matters. These people will often seek understanding and peace in the arms of another person as compensation for the problems they are facing in their marriage. 2. Insecurity Some of the more common reasons for this are: Many men are not able to come to terms with their wife devoting so much of her time to the children and ignoring their spousal communication and contact. This has a flow on effect to lack of a general lack of intimacy in a marriage which leaves a man dissatisfied and unsure about the strength of their relationship. A man may be over involved at work or at play and neglect his wife and their marital relationship. It is quite common in this event for a woman to stray into a relationship with another man who will give her those things that are missing in the relationship with her husband. Advancing age is a major reason for a person feeling insecure. Ageing brings with it a feeling of vulnerability and mortality. 3. Sex & Love When one of the spouses has declining, or no interest in a sexual relationship with their spouse but the partners sexual feelings are still strong, an affair is often seen as the answer to sexual fulfillment. A person may still require the same sort of love that they first had at the beginning of their relationship. This is of course not realistic because the total sexual and emotional "in love" feeling that both partners had for each other is a transitory thing - many people don't recognize this and yearn for what was in the early stages of their relationship. When that rush of sexually charged love goes, a spouse may think that something is amiss in their relationship and look for fulfillment elsewhere. In many of these cases a straying partner will convince themselves that they have only indulged in an illicit relationship because of what is sometimes called the "fun" that is missing from their marriage. 4. The One Night Stand We often hear about "the one night stand" - this is more often than not an affair that has little relevance to the person that has indulged in it. Often such an affair is conducted in a state of intoxication or out of sexual curiosity. The impact on your partner, if they find out about it, can be devastating nevertheless. 5. Growing Apart Couples interests alter and often go in different directions sometimes reaching a point where they can no longer fulfill each others needs. 6. Breakdown of a Relationship When a marriage reaches the point where there are irreconcilable differences it is common for one or both partners to go about looking for someone else so that they have companionship when the marriage dissolves. Here are a couple of very common reasons why some people are "affair prone", and remain having extramarital affairs throughout a committed relationship, even though they mostly have no intention of breaking it up: Excitement The quality of love and intimacy in marriage naturally changes over the years. However there are those people who, although they recognize this, still yearn for the time when such love and intimacy was exciting and explosive. They still love their partner and don't want their marriage to fail. To satisfy their craving they find excitement in the arms of others, usually in clandestine one night stands. Fear of Intimacy Some people have difficulty in coping with full intimacy in a married relationship. Many of these people, although they love their partner, simply want to distance themselves from the intimate side of marriage. A relationship with another person often achieves this end. At the same time such an arrangement ensures that they are not put in the position of full intimacy with either their spouse or lover. This compromise, strangely enough, tends to satisfy the requirement for a degree of detachment from their marital relationship.